From April, 2015
For 15 minutes I was sat alone – sad and confused – staring at every waiter and waitress who walked past in the Denny’s diner. I had already failed to find anything vegetarian on the expansive menu, so the hardest part of ordering was yet to come. How long was that incredibly smiley and bloody polite waitress going to take? I waited and waited. Furious, and about to leave, I then saw something that made me feel like a ‘right old plonker’ as they would probably say in Japanese. A ‘call for assistance’ button on the table sat there mocking me, as if I was the only person who was left starving in the restaurant. Just when I thought I would show all of those laughing (and that was everyone), I received my small, mediocre salad alongside my ridiculously over-fried chips. They all continued to laugh at my meat-free lunch and eventually shared sympathy and stopped taking pictures. The kiwi drink was a delight, however.
Next up Tokyo Tower! The famous and highly regarded Japanese landmark was a must-see on my travels and I was set for a sight for sore eyes! I skipped up to the entrance with a skilfully acquired free ticket. ‘I feel on top of the world’ I thought to myself, prematurely. I ended up losing the ticket on the way – it blew away helplessly. I wasn't going to let that stop me though, so I paid to go all the way to the top to the Special Observatory. I prepared myself for a 250m (820 ft) high viewing of one of the greatest cities in the world from the second-tallest structure in Japan! Unfortunately, my expectations were too high and it was nothing to shout about from the rooftop…
For 15 minutes I was sat alone – sad and confused – staring at every waiter and waitress who walked past in the Denny’s diner. I had already failed to find anything vegetarian on the expansive menu, so the hardest part of ordering was yet to come. How long was that incredibly smiley and bloody polite waitress going to take? I waited and waited. Furious, and about to leave, I then saw something that made me feel like a ‘right old plonker’ as they would probably say in Japanese. A ‘call for assistance’ button on the table sat there mocking me, as if I was the only person who was left starving in the restaurant. Just when I thought I would show all of those laughing (and that was everyone), I received my small, mediocre salad alongside my ridiculously over-fried chips. They all continued to laugh at my meat-free lunch and eventually shared sympathy and stopped taking pictures. The kiwi drink was a delight, however.
Next up Tokyo Tower! The famous and highly regarded Japanese landmark was a must-see on my travels and I was set for a sight for sore eyes! I skipped up to the entrance with a skilfully acquired free ticket. ‘I feel on top of the world’ I thought to myself, prematurely. I ended up losing the ticket on the way – it blew away helplessly. I wasn't going to let that stop me though, so I paid to go all the way to the top to the Special Observatory. I prepared myself for a 250m (820 ft) high viewing of one of the greatest cities in the world from the second-tallest structure in Japan! Unfortunately, my expectations were too high and it was nothing to shout about from the rooftop…
Somewhat underwhelmed by the commercialised attraction unfairly compared to my glorious past nighttime experience of the Eiffel Tower, I needed something to ‘wow’ me. I saw the Tokyo Imperial Palace – the main residence of the Emperor of Japan – in Chiyoda, near the city’s main station. Surrounded by beautiful cherry blossom trees, a moat and impressive traditional buildings from the 1800s, it was a pleasant contrast to the skyscrapers and the booming city life of the Canary Wharf-equivalent area just seconds away. Walking around the grounds I stumbled upon a museum dedicated to birds. Never have I been so quick to leave a museum – ‘bye bye birdie’ I regretted not saying to the truly mundane exhibition.
Only slightly impressed by the Emperor’s pad, I was still eager to judge something obnoxiously and the National Museum of Modern Art was only a stone’s throw away. For the extremely cheap price of ¥400 (£2.40) I viewed some intriguing pieces. Highlights included works by Noboru Kitawaki, Toshiko Mitani and Jiro Yoshihara. I nodded gently at these works, eyes blinking slowly with a sought-after approving smile. Satisfied that my seal had been accepted, I moved on, self-assured of one’s critical judgement.
The language barrier can cause awkward situations in Tokyo of course, but only the unforgivable tomfoolery of my regrettable ‘friend’ in his kitchen can exasperate it to such incredible heights. Making jokes to someone who barely speaks your language is a brave act in itself, and I hope he has learnt from what he did. Having learnt that his housemate’s boyfriend lives close to his girlfriend he jokingly suggested something he was going to regret for the rest of his life. His sarcastic offer to exchange living places for relationship conveniences was misinterpreted, and, I too, saw it as him suggesting to swap partners. I was gobsmacked, the couple were understandably outraged and we now have to avoid the embarrassment and absolute humiliation by avoiding them around the house. What a right old plonker.
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