Me, Myself & Myanmar #11

February 2019 - Yangon, Myanmar (Burma)

The concept of driving in a straight line was too difficult for our taxi driver to comprehend, despite me showing him the route on a GPS map (apologies in advance for this rant). He received incorrect information at Yangon International Airport from a man who apparently knew our destination. We arrived at an incorrect hotel and three members of their staff were also unable to understand the concept of continuing to drive straight. This led to one of them phone-calling someone who then spoke to our driver at length who - I assume - explained - that he needed to drive straight; without turning. So, following the advice of five men, our ‘taxi’ driver eventually took us to our hostel just off clearly one of the main roads in Yangon. The first hour in Myanmar (also known as Burma) was truly a warning for how difficult communication could be for a man whose Burmese is not quite up-to-scratch.

Schwedagon Pagoda

Schwedagon Pagoda

Arguably our best 'breakfast-included' at a hostel came at Shwe Yo Vintage in Yangon's Chinatown. Each morning we had a different, light, refreshing combination of well-flavoured and pleasantly-spiced local noodles - as well as unlimited hot drinks and orange juice. The very kind staff were always smiling and gave helpful recommendations including visiting the bustling 19th Street. They were not mistaken as we found the buzzing Double Happiness Bar where cocktails - which used local spirits - were cheaper than beers at just K1000 (Burmese Kyat (50p!)) each. These were enjoyed alongside cheap and great-tasting snacks which included - most importantly - roasted cashew nuts.

Shwe Yo Vintage Hostel

The golden shimmer of the Shwedagon Pagoda - the most sacred Buddhist pagoda in Myanmar - is noticeable from almost anywhere in the largest city in the country. Although covered in scaffolding and under repair, the tallest pagoda - at 326-feet - the gilded stupa (dome-shaped Buddhist shrine) still looked exceptional, as did the beautifully crafted surrounding complex of many temples, statues and stupas. It would’ve been well worth the cost at a pricey K10,000 (£5) each, but we may or may not have walked in without paying...

Kan Taw Mingalar Garden

The National Museum (K5,000 (£2.50)) had an impressive collection displaying the rich culture of a country with 135 different distinct ethnic groups grouped into eight 'major national ethnic races'. It was clear how important Buddhism and identity was and this was often conveyed through art with intricate sculptures, lavish theatre costumes and a vast range of musical instruments. More of an insight into the history and politics of the country would have made this a complete visit.

We strolled through beautiful and well-maintained green areas including the Kan Taw Mingalar Garden and around the Kandawgyi Lake before having a rooftop bar cocktail whilst overlooking the Shwedagon Pagoda at sunset. Having been tempted by the apparent rockiness of the trains, we ended our time in the former capital with a recommended ride around the city. Unfortunately, the train felt fairly calm and pleasant and I never felt like my life was ever going off the rails...

Siti of Stars #10

February 2019 - Taman Negara (National Park), Malaysia

The sensational views and tranquillity of the 2-3 hour boat across the Tembeling River made the journey to the north-east of Malaysia well worth the trip, before even stepping foot in the 130 million-year-old Taman Negara (Malay for National Park). It was formerly known as the King George V National Park until the country's independence on 31 August 1957 and entry has remained at just a mere RM 1 (18p) - and RM 5 (90p) for a camera - to visit this place of true natural beauty.

Tembeling River

We were given a wake-up call once we had completed our first four-hour trek to Bukit Terisek and realized we perhaps weren’t as fit as we first thought. The humidity of the jungle was overbearing but our survival despite the blood (leech bites), sweat and tears was proof that we had what it took in the most challenging of circumstances. We even somehow upped our game the next day and mightily fought our way to the great heights of Bukit Indah.

The much-anticipated world's longest canopy walkway was closed for maintenance due to safety reasons, much to our dismay. The 530m-long bridge is 40m above ground level and from our view it did, in fact, look a bit worse for wear.

Taman Negara

The night jungle walk - at a haggled rate of RM 25 (£4.65) - is highly recommended, but is all dependent on the guide given. The enthusiastic and comical Pizzan (great name) clearly loved his work and passionately walked us through the jungle, impressively pointing out the hard-to-spot creatures; including scorpions marvellously glowing in the UV light. The evening was complete when a large ‘winged-devil’ - as described by Bex - smacked into her chest, causing her to almost comically fall into the river.

Taman Negara

Whilst triumphantly returning down from our more impressive hike, Bex almost tripped over - what looked like at first - a dinosaur! After inspection, I dismissed this ridiculousness and came to the conclusion that it was a massive lizard - by far the biggest ever seen by a man (specifically, by this man). We watched from afar as it attempted to dig through holes - presumably for food - but I knew it’s game, and that food was not going to be me today. A wild boar soon happily trotted across our path, as well as a small, black and red snake which disappeared instantly. And I do mean a real snake, not like the apparent serpent-looking curvy line of ants seen by Bex...

Taman Negara

Siti - or ‘The Lovely Woman’ - welcomed us with open arms and became the latest addition to our growing family of lovely hosts. The small, friendly and sociable hostel was the ideal home for us in the village of Kuala Tehan, just a RM 1 and 30-second boat ride away from the National Park itself. Unfortunately, a poor range of restaurants, few social spaces and very little alcohol on sale made evenings feel very limited. Despite this, the people, nature, landscapes and journey meant the adventure was worth every Ringit.

Rock the Kasbah #9

February 2019 - Langkawi, Malaysia

"This is Crocodile Cave. I don’t know why it’s called that; there are no crocodiles." At Eagle Place, eagles glided, surrounding the above; at the Bat Cave, thousands of bats leered at the shining torches in their eyes; but at Crocodile Cave, things did not follow suit. Our Mangrove Tour boat driver was blunt and honest and perhaps wanted to make it clear that he was not a guide. Not long after, a monkey jumped on board in search of food and instead decided to throw crumbs at Bex which glued to her greasily sun-creamed face. He joined me in laughter and scuttled off. This completed a thoroughly enjoyable ride around the Kilim Geoforest Park in Langkawi, an archipelago of 99 Malaysian islands.

Mangrove Tour

Travelling is no picnic, so we thought it wise to treat ourselves to a place famed for its relaxing lifestyle and soft-flowing beaches. The hot sand was welcomed between my toes as we worked on our tan (yes, both of us) during the day and later tasted the sweet and stodgy delicacies of the night market. 

Pantai Cenang 

 We watched the mesmerizing sunset over the sea at the recommended Nest rooftop bar in a tourist-heavy strip in Pantai Cenang. Due to the costly price of an alcohol license in the duty-free island, we were charged RM 45 (£8.40) for a pitcher of mocktail (without alcohol) and was given a free litre bottle of rum to go with it! The remains of the bottle are kept behind the bar for three months with our name on it for future consumption. And yes, we did return (if you're visiting, get in touch for the remains!)

Nest rooftop bar

The vegetarian and vegan Indiana Cafe next to the well-presented and affordable Rembulan Langkawi hostel had great tasting options in an area which lacked in variety for my tastebuds. The odd porthole-like windows in our room allowing you to view from the outside were a somewhat disturbing feature, however. The spacious and well-designed 20-bed dorm in the Kasbah hostel felt strangely cosy and private with individual mosquito nets covering the one-tier beds. Accompanied by an enjoyable cocktail happy hour and a delicious vegetarian burger and nachos meant our stay in the Kasbah was far from rocky.

SkyCab

The SkyCab is home to the - what seemed at first - costly Langkawi Cable Car (RM 50 (£9.30)). After a long wait, we eventually made our way up and enjoyed the island view from the SkyBridge walkway. Other attractions included in this mini 'theme park' were the SkyDome and the SkyRex; a simulated ‘journey gone wrong’ in a world of dinosaurs. The surprising highlight was the interactive 3D Art Langkawi which depicted famous landmarks, moments in history and many entertaining images using large spaces and vibrant colours.

3D Art Langkawi

3D Art Langkawi 

I've Got Another Blog Post For You #8

January/February 2019 - Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia

We walked across footbridges overlooking the green city of Kuala Lumpur in the refreshingly beautiful KL Forest Eco Park and viewed the 420m KL Tower. The famous Petronas Towers were welcomingly viewable from around the city and they looked equally impressive up close. Amongst other attractions, the building includes a hotel, a concert venue, a gallery and shopping mall, in which we consumed a much-needed Nando's at half the price (acquired discount vouchers meant we were forced to visit twice more). At a steep cost of RM 55 (£10.35), we avoided the journey up the towers as the SkyBar in Traders Hotel opposite had an impressive view - and a happy hour of course!

Petronas Tower

Perdana Botanical Gardens

The beautiful free-to-enter Perdana Botanical Gardens - or Lake Gardens as it's known to locals - is KL's first large-scale recreational park and is over 91 hectares of peace and quiet, in the heart of the city. With deer, butterflies, over 200 species of birds, orchard and hibiscus gardens, the National Monument, a playground and more - this is one of the must-see sites of the capital - even without paying for any of the extra attractions.

Perdana Botanical Gardens

We enjoyed some Chinese New Year celebrations in the capital at a popular local Chinatown restaurant with delicious and cheap vegetarian options (noodles, vegetables and rice) which soon became our regular. I’ll always remember the place fondly, despite the uncharacteristically hour-long wait for my food on the third and final visit. I avoided an argument - this time.

One evening, six of us dined in the area of Little India (with my regular rhythm restored). An unordered biryani arrived so I informed the waiters of this - mistakes happen. An incorrect naan arrived so I informed them of this - no biggie. Then, a ‘cheese naan’ arrived which clearly contained no cheese so I informed them of this and the waiter tried to convince us there was cheese - he was incorrect but I moved on. A can of coke - ordered first thing - was the last item brought to the table towards the end of the meal - I took a deep breath and finished eating. The bill came and I said we would not be paying for the ‘cheese naan’ worth RM 8 (77p) - he disagreed. After much arguing, I called for the manager and explained my list of grievances - he eventually took the naan off the bill. Although it was another win for my principles, my blood continued to boil whilst Bex had coiled in her seat, deep beneath the table, presumably rethinking some major life decisions...Naangate (aka Cashewgate 2) will live long in the memory.

Perdana Botanical Gardens

A sociable place to stay, a mix of green and built-up city, plenty of affordable sights, great-tasting food and picturesque bars meant that Kuala Lumpur has quickly become one of the best places amongst any of my travels.

Kuala Lumpur Doompety Doo #7

January/February 2019 - Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia

The Mingle Hostel in the heart of Kuala Lumpur’s Chinatown almost felt like home as we finally engaged in some much-needed extended conversations with other people. The hosts were incredibly friendly and welcoming, as were the guests we spent our time with. We danced at the Reggae Mansion club, played beer pong, drank cheap buckets of G&T, swam in the rooftop infinity pool whilst sipping cocktails and ate at a food market trying many (well, vegetables and rice for me) local delicacies.

Batu Caves

Batu Caves

A 30-minute train ride from Sentral Station can take you to the extraordinary Batu Caves - a limestone hill with a series of caves containing temples. The world's tallest statue - at 42.7m (140 ft) - of Lord Murugan - the Hindu God of War - stands outside the caves beside the 272 recently painted (August 2018) multicoloured steps. Despite the many wandering chickens, dogs and pigeons, one particularly beautiful temple inside the cave and the incomparable view from below make this a must-see.

Batu Caves

In search of a bar, the very useful (but not always reliable) app maps.me directed us to what looked like a woman in a small box selling superhero figurines. Disgruntled, we continued our search but to no avail. From afar, I spotted two people enter the apparent toy shop. We curiously and cautiously entered the dimly-lit, niche speak-easy bar called PS150 and consumed arguably the tastiest cocktail ever (other than an espresso martini, obviously) in what seemed like the coolest place to be on a Saturday night in KL - and I would know (calling it KL is another thing cool people do).

Infinity Pool

The free-of-charge National Art Gallery will be remembered more for its inspiring creative responses to those affected by cancer or a rare growth disease in the country than its several off-white canvases. The National Museum (also free) provided an overly-heavy yet an intriguing explanation of how Malaysia became the country it is today - from the pre-historic ages to their independence in 1963 from the British. The latter failed to provide air-con and made the endless reading all-the-harder to concentrate on.

National Art Gallery

I found my first fix of football - or futsal - seven train stops away and have never sweated so much in the air-con-free sports hall. The Stranger Soccer website made it easy to find a game for English-speakers and the staff were very helpful. And yes, I of course scored some absolute worldies and everyone was gutted that I wouldn’t be returning to grace them with my magical feet again.

Sweet Like Chocolate? #6

January 2019 - Nuwara Eliya, Sri Lanka

The four-hour 2nd class journey from Kandy to Nuwara Eliya (Rp. 200 (£87p)) is famed for its glorious views and it did not disappoint as we rose to the hilltops in full view of the endless fields and tea plantations. It was, however, unreserved, as we were unable to buy in advance and needed to join the ever-growing 7.30am queue with hundreds of other travellers fighting for a seat. I spent most of the journey sitting on uneven packs of water bottles lodged into unpleasant places...the views were truly lovely though.

'I'm free!'

We were greeted at our Airbnb by the sweetest elderly walker-using Sri Lankan lady who had recently had a fall. She explained some of the basics in clear English and we were sent to our large and well-presented room. Five minutes into our stay...’Help! Help me! I’m stuck!’ I sprung up and dashed to the cries of help. ‘I can’t get out!’ The cries were becoming more annoying and I feared for the worst. Bex was stuck in the bathroom. After a brief chuckle to myself, I told her to stand back as I ran up to the door and - with the smallest of forces from my broad shoulder - I easily broke down the solid door with the lock - now vanquished - crashing to the ground. ‘My hero!’ She exclaimed, hugging me as I stood triumphantly. ‘All in a days work. Actually, I mean - it was nothing.’

Nuwara Eliya

Lover's Leap Waterfall

The romanticism did not stop there. We celebrated our year of putting up with each other by trekking up to the source of the towns water - Lover’s Leap Waterfall. The breathtaking views of Nuwara Eliya were incomparable to those seen so far and were well worth the hike. It was aptly named after a prince controversially fell in love with a princess () in the mountains and - in protest - both leapt to their - presumably - extremely painful deaths. Barely three weeks into our travels together and we joked - with caution - about having to need to take this alternative leap of faith.

Pedro Estate

Pedro’s Tea Factory nearby served us a satisfying cup of natural tea and took us on an educational and enjoyable tour of the premises for Rp. 250 (£1.20) each. I cleverly found a way back down the mountain via the tranquil Gregory’s Lake, therefore avoiding the main roads we had experienced on the way up. On route, we were stopped by a man who asked curiously ‘where are you going?’ I explained and he said ‘it’s a very difficult route with a lot of forests’ and he recommended against it. He obviously didn’t know how well travelled I was so I politely thanked his kind advice and ventured through the treacherous forest and crumbling paths with extraordinary ease.

Pedro's Tea Factory

The kind nature of our Airbnb hosts continued with the elderly lady’s sweet young granddaughter - dressed in Disney’s Frozen pyjamas - greeting us in the evening. She spoke her first language of English perfectly and made us a pot of tea. We conversed about her family and her recommendations for us before making sure we had everything we needed. During our stay, however, we noticed several things going missing - lip balms, a miniature Snickers chocolate bar (obviously mine), lipstick (not mine, this time) - and the clear rummaging of our toiletries had occurred. This once very sweet and helpful young girl left a bitter taste in my mouth when I would have preferred the taste of chocolate.

The Sound of Silence in Sri Lanka #5

January 2019 - Colombo & Kandy, Sri Lanka

I turned to Bex in our Uber 30 seconds after leaving the airport with a panic-stricken ghostly face. Had I gone deaf? Had my throat seized up? I feared my ears had blocked up entirely after numerous failed attempts to pop them back into normality. Surely I hadn’t inhaled so many fumes that I was no longer able to breathe? Do not despair though, I was not to worry. Surrounded by greenery, we cruised beside the Laccadive Sea, breathed in the fresh sea air and failed to hear a single horn beep. It was bliss. Welcome to Sri Lanka.

Nana's

After arriving at our small, friendly hostel in the capital city of Colombo, we ventured to the beach huts to visit the Lonely Planet-recommended Nana’s food shack. Confusingly, the only other four food shacks were also called Nana. We opted for the one with clear vegetarian options (the most southernly located one) and had delicious local delicacies including devilled vegetables, koththu (Sri Lankan roti) and a ginger beer at a great value of (Sri Lankan rupees) Rp. 250 (£1.20) each. We then continued to be ‘travelers’ and sat poolside by the majestic Biera Lake at the Seven Degrees North hotel bar and made full use of the happy hour. Some want to hike up the tallest mountains. Others want to swim with dolphins. I want to visit a happy hour in every country.

Biera Lake

Traveling by train in Sri Lanka was a clear must, but it seemed to be a difficult task. After much research we learnt that some are sold in advance and some are held for the day, so just get to the station in good time for your train. We arrived at Colombo Fort station an hour before our train and successfully bought two 2nd class tickets for the three-hour journey to Kandy at a snip for Rp. 250 (£1.20) each. A mute station worker greeted us on the busy platform and explained - with a huge, welcoming smile - where we needed to be and at what time our train was coming. He even continued to help - still always smiling - when he could see any confusion on our faces - a true delight (he’s not a guarantee on your journey).

Sri Lanka Railways

We were greeted at our hostel in Kandy by - who soon became known to us as - ‘Lovely Man’ and we were well looked after in our cosy home. The city’s most popular landmark is the Temple of the Tooth - famously known for holding a relic of the Buddha. Respect must be shown when entering so no large amounts of skin were allowed to be shown by anyone. We came prepared, covered up and entered. A travelling companion was turned away as his sarong (cloth) is used to sleep with and is seen as disrespectful to wear in a temple. He resentfully accepted and went in desperate search to purchase a replacement, only to return and be told that his companion’s sarong is now not acceptable either. Frustrated but undeterred they bought another one (at Rp 500 (£2.40) again) and finally entered the complex.

Temple of the Tooth

The confusion continued inside as we refused to accept that it cost a foreigner Rp. 1500 (£7.20) each to enter a temple (and three small museums). After much discussion we all decided to suck it up and pay. The museum about the national treasure Raja - the tusker elephant who particpated in the annual Esala procession (The Festival of the Tooth) for 50 years - was a pleasant - albeit saddening - addition. The temple was somewhat of a disappointment as the architecture was basic and the chamber holding the relic was only open at other times of the day during ceremonies. ‘All we want is some zen!’ We left, unfulfilled, and our companions left, also out of pocket a total of Rp. 5000 (£24), sarongs and all.

Que Sourabh Sourabh #4

January 2019 - Goa, Bangalore & Chennai, India

Diarrhoea. That’s right, folks. I’m aware readership is already declining so I thought it best to give a detailed account of my belated Delhi-belly, much to the delight of my brother whose unpleasant experience in the country will live long in the memory. My last two days of Goa were dominated by feverish symptoms including shivering, sweating through my clothes at night, severe headaches, and yes, shitting through the eye of a needle (sorry, Mum). When you’re away from home, you don’t want to waste any time, and so you feel bad if you spend a day in bed. But then you realize that every day is a day off (ha!) so sometimes it’s absolutely necessary to just lie in bed and poop. As an experienced Indian traveller (I was sick both previous times), I was expecting this, but poor Bex didn’t know what had hit her.

Indian Railways

These troubled feelings made the buildup to our 14-and-a-half hour train journey from Goa to Bangalore that much more difficult. It was almost 9pm and we’d barely eaten anything all day. That morning I had vowed not to eat any more Indian food this trip (I would’ve said ‘never’ for dramatic purposes but even when speaking hypothetically my Mum would give me a thappad (slap). Despite this vow, it feels increasingly likely that it was actually the dodgy-looking Saturday night market Mexican stall which involved a Russian man hiding, crouched under the counter, as he prepared the salad for our tacos. Our overnight Three-Tier AC train (₹980 (£11)) was surprisingly comfortable and proved to be my best nights sleep in days. Thankfully, the horror stories of various unwelcome actions by watching men remained as stories of the past.

Lalbagh Botanical Gardens

Indian Railways

After a reasonably-priced Ola ride through an app - an Uber equivalent which also uses auto-rickshaws - we arrived at our Airbnb in Bangalore hosted by the very kind and helpful Sourabh. Other than the uncleanliness, the towel attempting to replace a window, the many wires hanging out of the wall and the cockroaches, we had a delightful stay. The city was buzzing and it had a very western feel in comparison to what we had experienced in Delhi. Trees were prevalent in ‘The Garden City’, providing a pleasant contrast to the masses of waste and - at times - strong taste of pollution. The Lalbagh Botanical Gardens were by far the greenest and freshest area we had visited in the country and was well worth the ₹20 (22p) entry fee.

Mahathma Gandhi Road

A four-hour Chennai Express train ride (₹545 (£5.90)) - a system of which we had now mastered - saw us arrive in Chennai, on the Bay of Bengal. We enjoyed a mild South Indian thali dish which comprised of several small portions of vegetarian curries with rice and popadoms. From the same restaurant, we also purchased a mixed box of extremely sweet - even for me - typical Indian sweets called mithai which included my favourite types of burfi (milk-based) amongst other heart-stopping delights.

The intricate and brightly coloured Arulmigu Kapaleeswarar Temple of the Dravidian style dedicated to the Hindu Lord Shiva was striking. The long stretch of beach had - amongst the endless waste - hundreds of stalls which - every few hundred meters - sold the EXACT same things. We spent our final night in India - once I had convinced the manager to let me enter in shorts - at the popular 10 Downing Street bar and restaurant and had overly-strong espresso martinis with fried Indian snacks and vegetables - items we were right in thinking would not compliment each other. It did still beat our previous evening meal of paneer (Indian cheese) burgers at McDonald’s, however. Goodbye, my India.

Wake me up, before you go Goa #3

January 2019 - Goa, India

A cow in the meadow goes moo, but a cow on the beach drinks my newly-poured gin and tonic. This is in no way a criticism of this cow as I understand the importance of the values of the sacred animal in Hinduism, a religion I was brought up with. I’ve always lived by the well-known Hindu motto of ‘don’t have a cow, man’ and - even as a non-believer - I vow to forever stand by that. Having said that, I sure as hell gave this cow a stern stare in its evil, twisted eyes as I begrudgingly called my waiter over to my sun lounger - of which I had to sit slightly up from by the way - and ordered another G&T from a man who must’ve thought I’d just drunkenly downed my last one. I thought to myself that it was probably best not to attempt to explain my displeasure and I avoided suggesting to have a ‘don’t have a cow on this beach, man, or it will drink your bloody premium spirits’ policy.

Brittos Restaurant & Bar, Baga Beach

The glorious Indian hospitality continued when we were welcomed lovingly by my cousin’s family in their stunning apartment in Goa. During another luxury pick up from an airport by a family’s driver, we found stark contrasts to the capital city. My cousin had already prepared (perhaps warned) us to ‘get our drinking hats on’, and I did not have to be told twice! It was, in fact, more likely four or five times as I couldn’t muster any alcohol due to my pounding headache. So I took advantage of the filtered water as the real adults around me drank to their heart's content.

My family moved to Goa 11 years ago, so I’d spent little time with them as an adult. My cousin and I share an unwanted common connection but have never shared stories since those two brothers left us. To talk openly about our family was heart-warming - and also tough at times - as we spoke of the fun times, the sad times, the controversial times and the pleasantly unforgettable times. He shared a strong relationship with my dad who was the fun, young uncle to many of my cousins and it was warming to hear so many kind words.

Candolim Beach

English and Russian tourists flock to the Goan beaches and we were no different in our visits to Candolim. Beach shacks filled the sand and we consumed much food and many cocktails during another happy hour in the blazing sun. No indication of bus stops meant it wasn’t an easy task using public transport but once you stepped on it was only around ₹15 (16p) each for a single ticket - considerably less than the overpriced taxi services in the city. However, uncomfortably standing tight to other sweaty bodies whilst jostling for space meant it was to be our last journey on the bus; only taxis would suffice from now on.

A surprise highlight of Goa was the Sahakari Spice Farm. For just ₹400 (£4.30) each, we received a very educational guided tour, a tasty lunch buffet and a shot of the local-made 42% alcohol cashew feni - made from the delicious and over-priced nut. We winced as the burning sensation hit us quick and we jumped at the chance of buying a vanilla-flavoured bottle. The viewing of a breathtaking elephant entering the lake was a bonus at this place of paradise.

St Basilica of Bom Jesus

We paid our respects and visited the fairly simple free-to-enter Hindu Shri Mangueshi temple - a first visit of its kind for Bex. I explained the general ritual; we washed our feet, she covered any bare skin, we made a donation and we received our blessing from the priest before sitting in silence for a short while. This was followed by the interesting 16th-century built St Basilica of Bom Jesus which holds the mortal remains of St. Francis Xavier. It's located in Old Goa which was once the capital of Goa during the early days of Portuguese rules.

The Baga strip was filled with locals and tourists - and more importantly - happy hours. We had a good-valued meal at Tito’s Restaurant and drank our standard RPS 200 espresso martinis before visiting every other happy hour in sight. We returned to the club of Tito’s but did not have the same pleasant experience. Cashews were ever-prominent in Goa, so I thought it only right for us to order some at the bar. 20 minutes passed and nothing. Another 10 minutes and I asked of the whereabouts and was told ‘2 minutes’. Another 10 minutes passed and the club was approaching the 3am close time. And guess what I saw by the waiter, plonked on a paper plate, with no seasoning and still not delivered to us? I was livid. I argued relentlessly with the staff and demanded our RPS 180 refund but was frequently told ‘sorry, it’s not possible, sir’. We were offered free drinks instead but they struggled to understand our disinterest in sitting alone in a closed bar. Eventually, my masculinity prevailed and I received my refund. We left - cashew-less and hangry. Cashew-gate will live long in the memory.

A tribute to dad, Candolim Beach

We visited Brittos - a Goan institution since 1965 on Baga Beach and - despite feeling a little queasy - it proved to be a very enjoyable meal. Foods from around the world were on offer, including my Goan vegetable xacuti (a complex spiced curry) dish, and also - the main reason my cousin encouraged the visit - pie and chips. A much-missed food from home was always a treat so you can understand the horror when the news came through that there was no pie left. His face dropped. Disheartened, but not defeated; he just ordered something else.

Taj Mahal: I thought to myself, what a Wonder of the World #2

January 2019 - Agra, Uttar Pradesh, India

So, I might as well start by being honest. Yes, the Taj Mahal was great. No, it was better than that, it was fan-bloody (in an arguably offensive Indian accent)-tastic. The ivory-white marble building was even more majestic than Google images made out and it is thoroughly recommended. This 17th-century Wonder of the World was commissioned by Mughal emperor, Shah Jahan, to house the tomb of his favourite wife, Mumtaz Mahal, and took over 20 years to finish completely. The foreigner fee of ₹1100 (£11.75) initially seemed very steep, but this was instantly forgotten about upon entrance to the complex. Entry to the mausoleum (for an additional ₹200 (£2.15)) is a must, despite the disrespectful and unflattering hair-flicking selfies taken in front of the most famous tomb in the world. Presenting our pre-bought online tickets from the Indian government website made entry seem fairly straightforward. A former travelling companion's underwhelming review ('a bit small') of the monument made me feel pessimistic before the visit, but my new travelling companion was left - similarly to me - with her breath taken away.

Taj Mahal

Agra was quite an experience. The IRCTC website eventually - after hours of research - made the Indian Railways very easy to use. It gives you a comprehensive and fairly simple process for booking with an international card - as long as you say that you're Indian, otherwise, it's a bloody (in a slightly less offensive tone this time) nightmare. We had plenty of leg room, comfortable seats and an on-time service. Served by very friendly staff, we also received bottled water, a hot drink, a filling breakfast and a copy of the Hindustan Times in English - in which I read about the Indian national football team's first Asian Cup win since 1964! Hurrah! Thousands of people walked the tracks as the carriage full of foreigners (yes, this does include me) gazed out in awe at the beautiful and - at times - saddening views of the journey.

Indian Railways

Off the train and the calmness was short-lived. Contrary to my family's recommendation, we walked to Agra Fort and rejected over 15 auto-rickshaws (motorised three-wheeler) with much difficulty in the process. This became increasingly frustrating as the drivers continued to persist and walk alongside us as the cost of their service rapidly decreased at a similar rate to the level of my patience. Finally, we were on our way, looking forward to a peaceful walk. There were no regrets of dismissing the ₹50 (53p) taxi offer as after a short 45-minute walk whilst dodging cars, receiving glaring looks and avoiding wandering hands from men on motorbikes, we were soon at the mesmerising Agra Fort.

Agra Fort

We entered - what was the main residence of the emperors of the Mughal Dynasty until 1638 - through our gender-specific queues and shrugged off a persistent guide to be presented with an elegant fortress which seemed more like a palace than a place of defence. The intricate design and spacious gardens made it well worth the walk that I am adamant was still worth saving the 53p. 

The sharp, tense, burning pain in my chest had finally subdued. It was at this point we reached Agra Station with three hours to wait for our delayed train. Despite this, the wait was pleasant as we enjoyed some delightful samosa chaat (savoury snack). All in all, well worth the visit!